All I can hear is the incessant tick-tock of my watch, strapped to the arm that holds up my head. I am disgusted with this place, this hour-- I want to get out, to leave, and to escape. Yes, escape. This place they call higher learning. This place and its walls of confinement. This place they say you can think for yourself.
As I sit here and listen to you stumble over words to define religion and philosophy-- your idea of religion maybe-- I laugh a caustic laugh at your expense, at the loss of your soul. The cold textbook readings and dry lectures based on stale facts and mere man's so-called theories make me sick. I am ready to break free to leave far-away people who I seldom see and to leave the so-called surrogate family members assigned to me.
I want to take my clogged mind (with all of its problems and insanities bouncing around) and go. To be far from here is all I ask. To get away from fake, sympathetic looks or haughty glances trying to control me or figure me out. I wish people would stop trying to get me to conform to who they want me to be-- I wish I could stop caring what others want me to be-- I wish I could accept myself. You tell us to think, you want answers-- you say so from up there at your metal podium, as if standing behind that gives you power.
I am done, with my thinking for now. My brain is tired. I am done feeling, because it only hurts and leaves me confused.
I think I need a long nap.
